It’s a mistake, I wouldn’t say. It’s a misunderstanding I wouldn’t say. It’s a pity you act like you haven’t lost anything. More, it’s a pity I feel the exact opposite. And most, I feel ashamed to be feeling what I am feeling right now. Why did I cry every other day? Why did I look around to not see the greatest smiles that make me go nuts? Why did I want to talk to someone and that someone was either my blog, twitter account or my ceiling. Why nothing else did seem the same?
What I lost is the joy that cherishes me despite pride, class and status. Even though you complain a million times for being the best daughter or best sister or best professional, I still balanced a late night coffee with an early breakfast with brother or not being late to office.
Lost…is the strength, guidance, advice, friend and more. Missed…is the fun, love, support, truth and more. What’s been stolen is the reality.
Why doesn’t this make sense? Why do I feel disturbed to miss you? Why does it feel like I am the only one who lost anything? I am just very afraid to hear the answers, when you say it doesn’t matter how many times I gave up pride, responsibility, maturity, job, family and beliefs, just for you? I shiver to hear you say, what the hell, she is just very complicated. I hesitate to hear you say, it didn’t matter the sleepless nights, when we made your dreams come true. I melt down to earth, knowing I am still lost when I lost you! And more I disappear down to earth, knowing it’s a sole feeling that I possessed for the last three years.
