I dunno why but it's my unconsciousness mind that acts like a magnet when it comes to Ross. Well...that's what he said. "we would never be hopeless just like Ross and Rachel". Ohh!!! I wish.
Only if our culture allowed us to have no stakeholders in our lives like the Europeans. Only if we never did all what we did in the short heartbeat of hatred. Only if we acted after the million thoughts that crossed our minds. Only if I had not recovered in a figure way and only if you looked back.
Everyday is a day I wonder what's next for us? Every hour is an hour I wonder what if? Every second is a second I wonder why is this happening?
With the pace of time how could we ever undo? With the forces of nature how could we ever laugh and smile like we used to? With the nature of life how could we be young again.
I can write and it still leaves me blank so, I leave my questions for fate to work it out! God doesn't let down the followers,
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Where are we going?
When you are with someone, you do not assume but you assure that both of you are going to the same place. Despite, where it is? How you go there? When you go there? It doesn't matter, as long as you both are going to the same place at the same time.
It is a pity if you have to assume. It is heartbreaking if you are not and it is worse if you wish.
Lately, I have been dating this perfect person. He is a one in a million in my society. I should be very thankful and lucky to be with such a person. But what hurts is that I do not get the rush of hype running down my blood for being his partner.
Are we going to the same place? I assumed all the way. Yes we were. But I'm afraid that we were heading there at two different pace. I am very close Tom my destination when I could hardly see a mirage of him behind me. And then I wish. Ouch!!!
I am still trying. This is a chance that I wish to take. This is a risk I want to conquer. This is a courageous trip where I don't have a roadmap to the destination. Everyday is a scary day, where I wonder if I have to swim across rivers. Everyday is a vague day where hail, snow and fog blocks my way. It is of great difficulty to look back but how do I know if my man is catching up to me. It is of pain to look behind because the I might be dreaming a nightmare. It is hard to look back because the real thing is really close to me.
Apart from the journey, there are million other worries that makes me loose hope of living the purpose of life. Where's the life I deserve? Is the destination what I have longed for? Would I be haunted again and again in there...
And today is a day that I regret wishing. I regret how vague life could be? I regret my mistaken attractions that always make me loose my path to destination. But I am enthused with hope, even if I don't have. I have my palm held hold with a little hope and faith that I won't let go because that's the only thing that will get meto where I want to go.
And I ask now, darling, please run fast, so you can catch up with me and see our family and friends welcome us to the destination hence they are already there.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Ian, Apple of my eye
For the first time in my life the below phrase meant truly and deeply
"You have lit a fire within me, burn it or freeze it...I will still love you the same"
My nephew was born on 1st January 2010, when everything else went blank to me. I was in a state where nothing else matter. Simply I didn't care.
He was so tiny yet so big in my heart. He was friendly and lovable in my heart. He was cute yet very smart in my heart. He was so cool yet so warm in my heart. He is a breath of fresh air to everyone around him. He is an enlightenment that has touched us so deeply.
Every time I hear him cry, he breaks my heart. I might spoil another human being for the first time. But he is so precious he deserves it in a beautiful way.
Every time he laughs, he makes my heart glow. I will be the best aunt, sister and friend to him, because he deserves.
Ian is the best thing that happened to me, my brother and sister-in-law and the rest of the family. We will love him till our last breath
If only I could twit in China
23.05.2010 13:42 Arrived at VIP lounge at Beijing airport and yet I don't feel the VIP vibe around me.
23.05.2010 15:57 Checked into Beijing Hotel and off to see Dhonbetha, @Mizna, Naakko and Beyma.
23.05.2010 18:14 back at hotel n I really need to take a nap now
23.05.2010 20:47 oops...I shouldn't sleep till it goes away cuss I got to recover from jet leg.
23.05.2010 21:24 dinner in McDonalds with the Boss
23.05.2010 23:46 trying my a** off to sleep so I can be up at 3am my local time.
24.05.2010 00:07 only if you could hear my thoughts, you'd know how much I worry.
24.05.2010 09:24 finally I get the wifi connection I have been looking for? But damn...all social media networks are blocked in china.
24.05.2010 09:25 #Asiamediasummit2010 pre workshop commences.
24.05.2010 09:37 the marine biologist keeps an eye for me.
24.05.2010 11:34 @azeentey I miss Ian, u and @naziya big time.
24.05.2010 12:07 eeeeekh! Lunch seems weird. Maybe I should take some to my room and cook before I eat them.
24.05.2010 15:43 I was so right about the dolphin lover.
24.05.2010 16:40 I text "dating a man my father's age only works on movies and when it's Harrison ford or George clooney at the other end...nor other way around"
24.05.2010 17:05 my group seems really kewl. It's snacks again after the session.
24.05.2010 17:58 china has a good subway! N oh god! The stairs in subway is something u all gotta try before a hajj
24.05.2010 20:35 catching up with my community in China after having Mexican food with @Mizna
24.05.2010 22:57 off to bed!!!
25.05.2010 07:45 damn!! I am up later than I expected.
25.05.2010 08:35 #Asiamediasummit2010 begins. Our state minister is going to address the participants.
25.05.2010 09:03 Uncle stops by. Sleepy session this was.
25.05.2010 12:46 ohhh the loakuda person in our lunch table is nuts.
25.05.2010 13:56 yay!!!! I located the lost suit.
25.05.2010 16:14 an interesting speech been addressed on #Asiamediasummit2010 n I get the credits for it :)
25.05.2010 18:04 straight from the session to dinner and orchestra. Wish I could get dressed...it's overwhelming to be in suit all day long.
25.05.2010 19:45 m so full from the dinner but am amazed with the architecture of where is stand. #NCPA
25.05.2010 21:13 orchestra made me drool...it's kewl. Never expected this from myself.
25.05.2010 21:39 the orchestra conductor speaks a whole language! But I appreciate the talent today.
25.05.2010 22:36 does all musician has to be in love to write a love song
25.05.2010 22:57 off to bed! Goodnight tweeps.
26.05.2010 06:30 great! Up on time!!!
26.05.2010 08:32 on the secret WiFi spot waiting for @mondhu and them.
26.05.2010 10:46 oh lord!!! M haunted by the Chinese at the lunch table
26.05.2010 12:39 lunch time rest.
26.05.2010 14:28 am I lonely???
26.05.2010 18:02 Mr. T officially closes the #Asiamediasummit2010
26.05.2010 18:54 at AIBD EGM
26.05.2010 19:43 trying my magic with a girl in regard to my Beijing arrangements. Hope it works!
26.05.2010 20:03 hanging out with the bosses including @Mondhu at wanfuixing
26.05.2010 22:06 at #Starbuckswith @Mondhu n other bosses.
26.05.2010 22:43 off to bed. Goodnight tweeps.
27.05.2010 08:40 breakfast with all for the first time in china.
27.05.2010 09:16 off to dhonbe's place... Today is the full day with the family in China
27.05.2010 09:54 yay lee wins! Yay!!! #americanidol #lee must be trending now!
27.05.2010 10:24 neither @Mizna or dhonbetha is home, so m just chilling in here.
27.05.2010 13:04 very weird bt m having a dhivehi lunch
27.05.2010 13:14 teaching the "get vun" slang to dhonbetha and dhonbe. Hehe!!!
27.05.2010 15:03 off I go shopping n "out" with @Mizna n Naakko.
27.05.2010 15:42 at cinema to watch #ironman2
27.05.2010 17:23 phone buzzes #Daniel n m excited :@
27.05.2010 18:26 grabbing a coffee at #starbucks before we had to get home.
27.05.2010 19:37 did I mention the longest Escalator
27.05.2010 19:57 watching American idol...
27.05.2010 22:38 I don't like attention and that's why I hate birthdays. :) that's @iyya_e's opposite
27.05.2010 23:55 birthday gets closer and a pre wish from @bambuscky
28.05.2010 00:00 it's my birthday and the first one to wish is @Mondhu
28.05.2010 08:03 many smses that I had received overnight
28.05.2010 08:22 boss gives me my first birthday gift n it's an iPad coverr. #bestbossever
28.05.2010 09:09 gets the good news of that Zil in is labour. N I said it's a great day to give birth
28.05.2010 09:23 at CCTV
28.05.2010 09:34 meets Shen, another birthday girl
28.05.2010 10:07 CCTV VP gives me a birthday gift. M
28.05.2010 10:23 am off to hotel and all I could think off is turning 26
28.05.2010 11:34 checked out #Beijing hotel and am off to dhonbetha's place.
28.05.2010 13:37 lunch at dhonbetha's hotel like Monica in friend says...
28.05.2010 14:12 off to xidan. It's one hell of shopping.
28.05.2010 16:14 trying one by one. Hands full of lpbags.
28.05.2010 18:28 off we go home. There is plans for TGI today. Reminds me of London and Daniel.
28.05.2010 18:49 why didn't I call @Mizna mizdhatha? #questionoftheday
28.05.2010 19:56 dinner with dhonbe, dhonbetha, Naakko, Beyma and @Mizna
28.05.2010 20:58 m all full from TGI food n thanks to dhonbetha, she treats me a starbuck's coffee too
28.05.2010 21:26 yay!!!! Thanks @Mizna and dhonbetha for arranging a lil cake thing. My birthday cake is from haagen daz
28.05.2010 22:14 I am known as a harbor manager for playing too much harbor master on my iPad.
28.05.2010 22:48 can my birthday be any better. @azeentey @mannnau u can take a challenge against the Beijing group when I return.
28.05.2010 23:57 alright! It's time to believe I am 26 and £|€|#!]*>~%!}+!{%!~*!~>?}*~<
29.05.2010 07:02 morning Beijing!!!
29.05.2010 08:38 off to some children day celebration. Hope this is gonna be fun
29.05.2010 10:07 the kids are running all around. Waiting for more people to get the show going.
29.05.2010 11:26 fantastic moves. :$ I dunno to appreciate gymnastic as I am not a huge fan of that.
29.05.2010 14:38 more shopping here and there...
29.05.2010 20:57 dinner at #subway
29.05.2010 23:47 can't sleep but I got an early day scheduled.
30.05.2010 06:12 up! Morning!!!
30.05.2010 09:16 On my way to great wall of china. Makes me realize how much I've missed my iPod.
30.05.2010 09:32 Why can everyone who have gone through a separation can easily agree with ayaa???
30.05.2010 10:34 YOO HOO!!!! Great wall of CHina. Can't have enough of posing here...
30.05.2010 10:46 wish to walk across the great wall of china. Would be a great expedition right???
30.05.2010 11:49 telling the great wall story to all. :D
31.05.2010 10:06 out with #dhonbetha.
31.05.2010 11:27 at costa coffee dater shopping. She's a great aunt in law. Love her...XXOO
31.05.2010 11:36 life isn't easy for any of us. If it is...you've never seen life at all
31.05.2010 12:16 at apple store. I see an exact replica of the main apple shop in London. Steve jobs makes me miss Daniel Johns.
31.05.2010 13:14 lunch at home...
31.05.2010 16:38 hanging out with dhonbetha and @Mizna. It's fun fun fun!!!
31.05.2010 19:06 we made dhonbetha buy full box set of brothers and sisters and I bet she ain't gonna regret it
31.05.2010 19:10 ohhhhh!!! Silk street is the best of people like me...I mean people who like bags!!!
31.05.2010 20:57 buying Mexican food again. Quesadilla's are sooooo fine.
31.05.2010 22:32 off to bed I go. Goodnight!!!
31.05.2010 22:46 ohhh I miss @azeentey @naziya and all at family, @mannnau @thompey and all at rani group, @iyya_e @nyklus @Daniel and the gang and of course @bambuscky
01.06.2010 10:37 grocery shopping at #walmart...
01.06.2010 13:12 saying bye-bye to #Naakko
01.06.2010 13:20 off to wanfuixing to buy beymma some hot packs.
01.06.2010 18:35 dinner....this time it's Thai. A million thanks to dhonbe and dhonbetha for making this article and mostly myself feel like I was at a five star hotel. Love u guys...
01.06.2010 20:23 watching prince of Persia.
01.06.2010 20:47 never thought Jake as a sexy figure until now...
01.06.2010 22:17 only if destiny works as in movies...
01.06.2010 22:26 waiting for pick up ride near boaburi...i mean Burberry.
01.06.2010 22:46 I feel like I am traveling abroad in the 1960s and it ain't a 100% bad feeling.
02.06.2010 09:36 @Mizna is doing a good job doing beymma's packing.
02.06.2010 10:02 last minute shopping at silk street.
02.06.2010 12:07 lunch....
02.06.2010 12:35 off to airport we go.
02.06.2010 14:10 bye-bye Beijing... I'd be back with the real Twitter soon :)
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