Independence Day; 26th July 2009

My tiny nation, Maldives is celebrating its 44^th Independence Day today. Some of us say it’s our 1^st Independence Day. Some of us say, this is not independence because he or she is unable to grab a beer as a start of the day. (All these are taken from Twitter). For many, independence is meant in different other ways.

Since this is my blog, this is strictly for what I think about Independence.

Myself, without anything else in my life, I am INDEPENDENT. For a girl my age, I live a very independent life. I live with my brother and sister in law with minimal “unnecessary” control over me. I finance myself with a good saving every month. My parents and I am in excellent contact with minimal influences. So yes, I am independent.

But of course there are contradictions. I have been watching the state TV today, and they have been picking up professions and talking about how independent they are being on their job. What’s with Musicians and actors? What would their independence be? Sex videos? Or perhaps dirty songs? Totally irrelevant on this occasion as there are only their perspective limitations and nothing else limiting their creativity and talent.

Well, talking of independence on job, there goes a long hmph from me. I work on Human Resources, or should I say the most valuable asset anyone could have. Throughout my career, there have always been influences on who is working for you. You bosses control and keep an eye on who they recruit. Unethical decisions on promotions, recruitment and dailies are my day to day decisions mainly because there is a greater power above me.

So there goes one yes for independence and one no for independence. Now let’s see if you are really independent from a 360degree huh?

I heard on the radio today, “your independence comes with boundaries, boundaries that are to be respected”. I assume that these boundaries are religion, economy and culture. The radio quote is very diplomatic indeed. We live in independence with certain limitations. “In my opinion”, every human being will have his or her limits and boundaries and that doesn’t mean that you do not have independence. Just because you can’t have things beyond your culture, religion and social values that don’t mean that you do not have your independence.

So, given the circumstance that I am independent and dependent at times, proves that there are times when nature allows you to be independent and there are times when nature does not allow you to be independent. However, if you feel you have the chance and choice to be much independent in the next door or the other shoe, you have the right to walk from dependent to independence. This is pretty much independence to me.

Independence comes with great responsibility. As a whole, that is our situation today. If your parents think, you are not responsible enough, you do not have the independence. If you boss thinks, you are not responsible enough, you do not have the independence. If your lover think, you are not responsible enough, you do not have the independence. If your nation thinks, you are not responsible enough, you do not have the independence.

So, for all those who are responsible enough in the eyes of the rest of the world…wish you a very happy independence day! For others, let’s hope for independence to hit you soon.

Fairy Tale or Top Sales

Work

I messed up at work by putting my reputation in line. Hanging out with a bunch of real nice people of my age. Well…due all respect, this became a fact which was accepted through out my bunch of nice people and everyone around me. But, I love the job and I loved everything in it. Most of all, I admired my establishment there. I was happy with everything despite the pathetic and irrational boss.

I stepped out of it for the sake of life and my career. Walked into the room filled with diamonds, glowing so bright that my eyes are blinded by it. Despite the dirty politics, internal affairs and the stress, I still wake up everyday and go to work. I stand in the dark, high above everyone. Sometime, I even doubt if this is where I belong. Making my people proud, establishing milestones, I am running faster up the ladder, despite how weak the ladder is.

I ask the question, do I enjoy then or now? Is it important to enjoy? Is rupsy a higher risk than cockroach killer? What is more vital, me being proud of myself or the people around me being proud of me? Is it important for the nation to see me or just the insiders to see me? Was my messed up career better than the blossoming awesome career of mine?

Personal Life

Wake up in time, cook, laundry, love, care and income, everything and more a women can give to a men…I gave except for time and commitment. Not to justify myself, but I can only do a role of women and my complain is having to do both. Anyways I was happy then. Blossoming. Hopeful. But obviously for issues, it didn’t work out.

Circle of friends was much brighter. Laugh, coffee, love, share, care, arms, trips, hangouts and everything that cheered up your day. This is where you get to compromise your reputation and pride in order to feel childish and young again.

Life changed from upside down. Caught back lost pride and many other. Suddenly, I miss the warm body next to mine. I miss the good all arguments and the opposites. I miss the womanhood. But I feel young and less stressed. I feel good for where my life stands.

Things shuffled. I went from the lap to the girl sleeping in innocence. Suddenly, I am out of crowd. I miss the good old coffee, breakfasts and the plans that never work out. I miss not being the supervisor. I miss our acceptance on all the forbidden sins.

I ask the question was then a better compromise than this? Is pride so important to be worrying over who you date? Is respect and love so important than being a disappointment? Is a new unacceptable boyfriend better than a almost gay, too reputable and loved boyfriend better than a mad husband, unhappy parents and the coolest collection of friends?

Social Life

Stupid mistakes of being young and not balancing where I hold myself in the social ladder is a mistake I’ve repeated far more times than I can count. Regrets are having to enjoy a social life in a place where sociology is nothing but television and coffee. It was less painful to see loved ones pour tears over seeing a shadow grow darker.

I woke up on morning, cleaned myself inside out. Determined than ever to maintain the class and reputation in which I was brought up on. Stronger than before, grew in large and I caught the string of wire at the end. Cleaned the messed up wires and made it a clean roll that had no loose ends or tangled knots.

I ask the question, is the spot light that glows in me as beautiful and stunning as it looks? Is it worth, the trust and reputation? Are the sacrifices and compromises worth the social status that we all have craved for?

Better or Worse?

I wonder where the balance of happiness and good times cut off? Then or now? I stand to be a better woman today with less of betterment and smiles. Good time during which there was too much of garbage gathered in a huge garbage bag. Better time during which there are too much of garbage around yet, it is a social crime to collect them and make a clean environment. Either way, there is no win win situation. Because in this small place, you either get a fairy tale ending or a top selling biography, you don’t get to sell your life in two different shelves of the bookshop.

Crazy In Love

This post is dedicated to all those who are in love. I salute you and can't be any happier. Vulnerable yet strong. Shy yet proud. Joy yet complicated. Forever yet fragile. I’ve seen you all go crazy in love. Holding hands. Singing “how do I live” by Leann Rimes. These are times that smell, tastes and senses so beautiful for the special two and at the same time these that makes the people around you joke and giggle up. Often rhymes and yet so soothing to the ears are the following phrases.

If you were the moonlight, let me be the plankton that rises to it.

If you were the mean to travel, let me be the fuel.

If you are the Tree, let me be the green in it.

If you are the Music, let me be the lyrics.

If you are the Fire, let me be the warmth.

These are phrases that make total sense to our kind, those who are blossoming in love. We’ve all been trapped in the moment, blinded in the essence once or more. These are moments which rarely knock on your door. Until then, this is just a big joke to me.