As easy as a knock on the apartment door, I received the gift that surprised me. A gift that I have longed for ever since I could think on my mind. I can’t be any happier. I felt complete. I knew it’s the moment that everything else is going to be alright. But it didn't take seconds to make me vanish into the world of confusion.
But…The delivery was through post when I accept no gift by any postman. I want it personally delivered to me. Principles set by self, ancestors, society and more, traps my mind between what I want and what I can have.
And now it scares me, breaks me into pieces wondering if I am to accept this when it’s from post. I really can’t help thinking if there is a way to go blind and see past the fact that it’s through post.
Post has not only ruined the beauty of traditional love, but also the wrapping. God! I hate the stamps they ought to put on the gift. I really wish if our principles were not that strong. I really wish to go in disguise, whatever it takes, for me to have this mesmerizing gift opened.
And now I sit here with the most awesome gift of a lifetime, wondering if I am strong enough to let go everything I ever dreamt of. I wander around thinking if there is a way for me to see the delivery mode or the wrapping. This makes me drool like there is a tasty bowl of Hagen Daz ice cream in front of me.
Part of me says… choose not to. Choose not to ruin everything I have by losing my conscious over diamonds and pearls. Part of me says… choose to. Choose to have what you can, while you live and when you can. I am happy yet sad. I am complete yet empty. I am confused and dazed.
Continuous blood rush that runs through my vein yet so warm. A trembling feet that could barely hold me up. Lost could be the perfect word to describe me. My mind speaks a different language than my body.
I so want to open the gift and keep staring at the beauty for the rest of my life.
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