Communiqué; a solution for everything…only if there were ears

I am better with words. I talk well and I express myself undoubtedly…but fun and ignorance seems to be still on my way. In every relationship, tragedy, condition and special times, my words make my way through it. However, lack of ears has killed the smooth functioning of the concept communication.

Tonight I was on phone with my bestest friend, at least I hope so, for almost 2 hours trying to tell him how distant we’ve been and the respective changes in our lives since a certain time (unidentified by any of us). Honestly, he doesn’t know or maybe he doesn’t give a damn to make out it. Either way it’s hard for me to digest it, in other words, I miss the good old times. This is mainly, for the reason that life gets soother (at slightest for me) when we share and care like we always do.

When life shivers down in front of you, you adjust to it, even if you are lacking the fuel that you require. I’ve adjusted. I’ve run this old fashioned car even without the fuel. I’ve gone far to get adjusted to the life around me. I guess, I can do a very fine living with the hurtful punishment of not being able to drive my old fashioned car with the appropriate fuel that it requires. I’ve even gulped the warm sip of milk, with its awful taste a million times. But it takes some guts to spill out how bad the warm cup of milk was or how hard I’ve tried to grab a clean cup or how hard it was to reach my destiny without the needful fuel.

But tonight, I told the mere one who could help me make a healthier drink. I told him with hope to get things change in the way that I transport. I believe he would understand where I stand at least for a second. And his words did flow with mine for awhile. But poof, he forgot the fact that I don’t drink milk or I don’t like it on dirty cups. Shameful it is, especially when a girl weeps her eyes out, screaming “I HATE MILK”. Now I sit around wondering why the hell I even told everyone how I feel. I should have hushed and be strong like I always am. If I could go back, pride would have been stronger when I am a better person. I would not have been disappointed or even assured my gut feeling of total ignorance.

Self actions has made me a better independent person, even though we make each other cherish in the dark. That’s me, I don’t get childish and such an asshole. And yeah! I punish you or rage against you on the front of Polpots instead of real head to head because it would either be ignored or joked of. I’m sorry that I went way off the clouds to describe how I felt tonight, especially when I figured that this is definitely not the ears for that weeping. My words are not that meaningless but maybe I am. My reasons are logical but we might not be. You might forget the most important thing for a second, but if my words can’t remind you of those, nothing can.

Am I out of content to say that I miss the one to one time we spend together? Or was it a gap filled because you urged for someone to take your side (and you knew I would despite anything, take your side). Oh! I miss the time when I spill out the dirtiest secrets of the whole nation and me without the fear of judging. I adore it more when you don’t even critic or support me for the jerk I have been. But if my words cant solve this, neither can I. Because I am way too weaker than my words and I believe in communiqué.