dig the beauty...

I woke up several months ago and I realized that I am feeble. I woke up to a different day. The morning wasn’t as it used to be. Confused I was, prideful you were. We still ignored it. It was too late when we had realized that the time for the beauty of life has vanished into thin air. Not too far, but we were too exhausted to and sloppy at the time. It was too late for compromises. Too much has been said for forgiveness. Too much has been tangled for a clean up.

For an easy life, for the pride, for the love and joy, we walked away. But one thing we didn’t know was that even a million years down the line, we would still adore each other. I would still miss your humor. You would still miss my cooking and the girly touch in your life. I would miss your childish laziness and crazy excuses to be the real man. You would still miss the fun we bring even at the time of sufferings. And we both would miss the milliseconds that meant a lifetime.

The laughs that is in mute yet so blissful. The dresses those are only sexy in your eyes. The excitement of two in our day to day life… all vanished into thin air. The eternity we were proud of became restricted.

Unlike most girls, or perhaps like most girls, I tried to find a reason that was worth such a overwhelmed loss. I tried to believe that I deserved this for the betterment of you and me. But every move I made to prove myself was just a mirage. Move by move, I made a fool out of myself. Move by move, I kept loosing it all. Everything made me feel like how anxious I was. Everything made me miss the best part of life. Nothing that came across meant worth the things I lost. The harder I tried to prove everyone, the harder it was to be proved.

So I stepped off my shoes and stopped trying because it was easier. But days like today, makes me think again and again, if there was anything I could have held onto. I miss the most important yet the most complicated bit of my life. I can’t imagine what I would not miss, when I miss the sobs, the fights, the bankruptcy, being the man and woman and the lies.

Now, we are so far away, in denial. Magic that we pulled to get over the mess we made, distant us incautiously. The wishes, the hopes, the dreams, the love is still evidently buried with each of us. Strong as it always was. But the question remain, are we both strong enough to dig the beauty off the dirty soul without getting it dusted?